I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
