What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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