you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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