Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
