P.S. I can't hear my feet
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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