Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
