Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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