I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
