their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
