She's JV to your varsity
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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