if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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