so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
