The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
