so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
