After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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