Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
