dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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