At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
