I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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