You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
