Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
