Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
