I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
