the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am naked and annoyed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
