well I can't set my house on fire every night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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