it was like eating out sand paper
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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