can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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