her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
