just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
