I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So many bounce houses so little time
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
