saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
