I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
