I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
