i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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