First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
