whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
