OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
