but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
