Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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