I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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