im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
