Got a toothbrush?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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