it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
