I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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