it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
