We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
