okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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