I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Barsexuality is the new black.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
