No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
