Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
