So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
