There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
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