I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
