Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
